Shawn Malloy (thpamz2thexay) wrote,
Shawn Malloy
thpamz2thexay

Shit's gone down recently.

I've been reunited with my biological family.  It's been almost 20 years in fact.

It all started at work when I openly discussed where I came from with my co workers.  I mentioned my sister My To during the conversation.  It just so happened that everyone I work with knows her and sees her all the time.  Strangely enough, my co worker Hau Nguyen's uncle is my mother's boyfriend.  He sees my mother all the time.  I didn't really know how to approach the situation.  I didn't know whether to start with my sister, and write her a letter to be passed on by our mutual friends, or if I should have myspaced her.  Or maybe I should have just visited my mother while she was at Hau's house.

I opted to just subtly friend request my sister on myspace.  She denied me.  So I needed to figure out plan B.  During this time Hau nonchalantly mentioned me to his mom, and his mom got on the horn with my mom with the quickness.  A couple hours later I was reunited with my little sister My, my older brother Binh, and my cousin Tung.  A few days later I was reintroduced to my mother.  All she could do upon seeing me was hold on to me while crying, "my son!... my son!"  It was pretty surreal.  Minutes after meeting my mom, and a few of my aunts, all sorts of aunts, uncles, cousins, pets, and in-laws started piling through the door.  Apparently I have one of the biggest families in the Worcester area.  We roll deep.

A couple weeks passed and my fam set up a huge welcome home party for me.  It was a lot of fun.  They all pitched in and bought me a mall gift card with a ton of money on it.  I ate a pepper that was so spicy I cried.  Kevin came down and we jammed out a few Shotgun songs for my family and my mom's close friends/bandmates.  I got to see a little inner family drama.  I guess they were worried that it was going to judge them for it.  But I don't judge.

The next day I visited my father.  Very awkward.  He's still kind of a jackass, and he fights with my brother all the time.  Him and mom aren't on very good terms either.  He has a new family now.  I have a step mom and a 12 year old half sister.  They're two very quiet people.  As far as my dad goes, you can tell that there's something very off about him.  He's not a very popular guy either.  Despite the negatives, and the deeply imprinted negative image I have of him from my childhood, I'm gonna give him a chance to be a father.  So far he's doing a good job.  He's already given me a brand new laptop which was shipped in by his sister in Florida.  Just material bullshit.  Very useful material bullshit.  But its the thought that counts.  He's showing he cares.

The care is the important part.  I didn't realize that I had a family out there that still cared about me, and thought about me, and talked about me, and cried for me every day.  I've lived with a lot of lies, and exaggerations presented by my current family.  I was under the impression this whole time that my real family wanted me dead which is so far from reality, that I look back at the things that I believed and I laugh a little bit.

I've grown up with so much useless hate and resentment.  I blame it all on my current family.   I understand why they took me in and took care of me.  But they didn't have to say things to breed me into a hate filled monster.

I'm not gonna go into how I feel about my current family, because I'm just gonna go on an endless rant that no one needs to hear about.

Since the reunion I've spent a lot of time with them.  We've been slowly catching up.  I've missed a lot in 20 years.

Kristen's been there throughout this whole overwhelming process.  I really appreciate her being the token white chick throughout all of this.  Thanks babe.

What have I learned?  I've learned that my real family is huge.  And that they still love me.  I've learned that I'm really clumsy with chopsticks.  I've learned that my musical talent is genetic.  Everyone on my mom's side of the family sings.  My mother is regarded as one of, if not the best female vocalist for traditional Vietnamese music in the community.  The biggest lesson I've learned is that ASIANS LOVE HEINEKEN!

It's been a crazy ride.
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